Someone should stand up and say very loudly that a colicky baby can make you feel crazy. I remember going to my 6 week follow up after delivery and my doctor asked me, "How are you doing? Any post partum blues?" Just the night before, I was sitting in the bathtub weeping as I heard my husband downstairs holding our screaming bundle of joy, alternating between pacing the floors and slightly bouncing on our mini-trampoline(which worked many times, BTW). But I put on my game face and said, "Nothing out of the ordinary." because I wanted to be seen as a good mom. To say to him, "No, I'm not ok. This baby whom I have waited for and loved for 9 months hates me and cries constantly and some days i think that my head might completely explode" was the same to me as saying, "I'm a failure as a mother."
We have got to find a way to come against this. Women need to feel safe to admit that colic is making them nuts. Doctors, pediatricians and OB's, need to take colic very seriously and not dismiss any mother who verbally expresses concern over the amount of crying her child does. Most people weather colic ok, but many babies are shaken or given medications improperly by mothers who don't know how to cope and just want a break.
The truth....colic did make me nuts. I felt like I was going crazy. I cried constantly...just not as loud as my child. I was exhausted . I was conflicted between taking care of myself and keeping some sense of order in my home. I felt completely inadequate as I heard about and saw new moms who were out and about shopping, going for walks, visiting friends, etc. I couldn't take my baby anywhere lest we have a screaming fit in the middle of Target. Not to mention having to listen to the screams as you are trying to focus on DRIVING.
I look back and kind of laugh now. Perhaps it's the Wellbutrin(yes, I finally admitted that I needed some help), but I think mostly it's because I'm on the other side of it. But many times, it wasn't funny. My hope is that somehow I can create some awareness that will make that one mom feel like someone knows where she is coming from and that she is going to be ok.
They do get better. They do cry less. They do love you. And you are a great mom.
We have got to find a way to come against this. Women need to feel safe to admit that colic is making them nuts. Doctors, pediatricians and OB's, need to take colic very seriously and not dismiss any mother who verbally expresses concern over the amount of crying her child does. Most people weather colic ok, but many babies are shaken or given medications improperly by mothers who don't know how to cope and just want a break.
The truth....colic did make me nuts. I felt like I was going crazy. I cried constantly...just not as loud as my child. I was exhausted . I was conflicted between taking care of myself and keeping some sense of order in my home. I felt completely inadequate as I heard about and saw new moms who were out and about shopping, going for walks, visiting friends, etc. I couldn't take my baby anywhere lest we have a screaming fit in the middle of Target. Not to mention having to listen to the screams as you are trying to focus on DRIVING.
I look back and kind of laugh now. Perhaps it's the Wellbutrin(yes, I finally admitted that I needed some help), but I think mostly it's because I'm on the other side of it. But many times, it wasn't funny. My hope is that somehow I can create some awareness that will make that one mom feel like someone knows where she is coming from and that she is going to be ok.
They do get better. They do cry less. They do love you. And you are a great mom.
1 comment:
Mel, I love the comments you leave on my blog. Remember when we would say "I'm ok, you're ok, we are all ok"? Well, that was when things were probably really okay and now they are just up in the air and we have no clue as to what we are doing. I can say that I am ok due to valume and lexapro and you are ok due to welbutrin! Hey...you do what you gotta do. If you like Chonda Pierce, you have to look her up on youtube and listen to part one and part two of her rehab and recovery on depression....I have never laughed so hard in all my life and believe you me....I have had to be sure and laugh a lot here lately! I love you!!!! Sharan
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