Bring on the milestones....and the fussies

So it seems that "un-fussy" babies can become fussy when they begin to reach milestones as it is a time of much processing for them. Well, Jude is moving right along...fussies and all. It seems that in two weeks he has started sitting up from a lying position(and if he does this in his crib at night, he can't figure out how to lie back down...argh!), crawling and saying "UH-OH." When he isn't doing that, he needs to be held and allowed to fuss a bit here and there. Our arms are getting their workouts once again. But it is so exciting to see him seeing the world in a new way and I know that we are coming closer to that one year mark where they seem to grow even faster right before your eyes.

He is sleeping better at night. We left the ped last time with the Prevacid and we are still waiting to see if it helps with the tummy troubles. We are getting up about twice a night....once to help him lie back down and once at around 4am to eat. Because I need to help keep up my milk supply while working, I haven't tried to get rid of the night feedings. I will start that in July.

I have begun my doula training process and I think that Jude has actually become a little more calm and happy. I think that I have been happier and feeling more fulfilled as I finally feel like I am pursuing a calling on my life and doing something that I really desire to do. It seems that he can almost "sense" that and it calms him also. This is important in my being more conscious in how I deal with stress. I wonder if colicky/fussy babies have a stronger "radar" for mom and/or dad's stress levels and anxiety. Working so much at the gym has been a HUGE stress for me and for the family as a whole. Perhaps we'll all get some relief as I follow my call......

Wear your fussy with pride....

so check out this website for the official fussy baby onesie
http://www.fussybaby.ca/fussybabyonesies.html

We are having a very trying week. We are experiencing frequent night waking again. We are literally walking zombies. Last night I tried to do the cry it out, but his cry gets stronger and louder as the minutes go by. An hour later, I gave up and put him in bed with me and he finally settled.

And it's 9pm and he's crying now........ugh........why is this happening?

We see the ped for the 9 mo check up tomorrow and we are going to make a real plan...I'm determined.

Hey....where am I?

Do you ever have those weeks where you are so busy that you can't get anything done but then you wonder what you were so busy doing if nothing is done????

So my friend, Heather who also is a fellow fussy baby mama, says that her pediatrician told her that colic is over at 6 months and that now her baby is just cranky(at 9 mos). Helloooooooo dr know it all, that is precisely my point. The colic part is over....the late night constant screaming and so on. But it seems that these babies continue on to have an overall disposition that just seems to be somewhat unhappy. Some days it makes me so sad. I really need some doctors to get on the boat and validate this stuff. Do they have any idea what it makes a mom feel like when you tell her, "she's just a cranky baby" WHY IS MY BABY CRANKY??????

Dr. Sears feels like it is part of an overall temperament in these kids. Ok, I can buy that, but it seems that there has to be more.

So now I am starting a new book....The Crying Baby by Sheila Kitzinger. She is very big on the midwife/homebirth/natural birth scene and I am interested in what she has to say. I will keep you posted.

I guess I just want to know what I can do to make sure this fussy child, whether it is some type of physical pain or just his personality, is as secure, happy and successful as possible. I want to be sure I am doing the right things for him. I want to know if there is anything I can do to make his world easier to deal with.......and mine too.

What do you do about a fussy mama????

There is something about the hormone shift after a baby that can make a momma fussy even on happy baby days. This has been my week. I find myself suddenly wondering where in the world 9 months have gone! Let me say that those first 4-5 fussy months seemed so long at the time, but they are a distant memory now and I find myself wanting my baby back. I just look at him and see how he has gone from such a tiny, helpless wailer to a baby on the move...seeing, exploring and learning. Time goes by so quickly.

My fussy baby has been a gift. His presence has forced me to learn to slow down and take care of myself. You may not accomplish much in your house during those hours of walking, rocking, bouncing and swaying.....but every touch and nuzzle is a love deposit in their little heart and I am convinced that this has a soothing and healing affect on their soul. Your healing will come in time also, so don't give up. There will come a day when he/she begins to smile at you, laugh at you and reach for you and you will know that your baby is happy and healthy and totally in love with you.

During nights of wailing, I found that it soothed me and kept me calm if I sang songs. Some of my favorites were praise songs:

Shout to the Lord(no pun intended)
Jesus, Lover of My Soul
I Could Sing of Your Love Forever
In the Blessing

I also enjoyed singing Jack Johnson, David Grey and that Pooh Corner song by Kenny Loggins. On the nights when the crying wouldn't stop, these songs helped lighten my mood enough that I could handle an hour of holding and crying without breaking down myself.

Music soothes the soul.....try it....it may just save your sanity in that final half hour of howling.

Assumptions.......

People make a lot of assumptions about you when you have a fussy baby. I remember when I went back to work at weeks post partum, people expected to see the bags under my eyes. Six months later, people notice and comment....."that baby is still not sleeping through the night??? You are spoiling him. You need to let him cry it out." It does no good to try to explain to someone that my babys cry could possibly be used as psychological torture at Guantonomo Bay. Not only is it loud, but it is desperate and relentless. That cry speaks to me as a mother and says, "I have no idea what I need but please don't leave me alone." It goes against everything in my being to ignore it or allow it to continue past about 10 minutes(the longest 10 minutes of your life). These babies are different. They DO need something. I refuse to believe that cry is one of manipulation. My son does have the ability to do that, but is is a different cry altogether and as a mom, I know it.

It has taught me much about judging the way anyone parents. You never know what that parent is dealing with and what is behind their seemingly quirky ways. Isn't it enough that we all have the hardest job in the world??? Support your local fussy baby mama......it could save her sanity.

He said it!

Jude has started saying mama. That's all I needed to hear. He knows I'm his mama. Sometimes when they just scream at you, you aren't quite sure.

Yipeeeeee

Geting perspective....

One year ago today, a Ivillage friend of mine, Michelle, gave birth to micro-preemie twins, Nick and Kenny. They were only about 24 weeks gestation....but both valiant fighters. Kenny fought all odds to turn 1 year old today. Nick was called home by his Creator.

Other moms in that group lost their precious babes.....Shelly said farewell to her precious Damien, Marie endured the loss of her angel, Bridget after losing another child a year before, and Sleepy-me whose real name I do not know, lost her precious Audrey.

When I become weary of the fussies, I remember that for some, such a shrill and piercing cry would be a welcome sound in their home. This does not make colic less difficult, but it gives me perspective. In the span of my life, this is a brief flicker in time.

So today, I hug my fussy baby as he arches his back and wails because.......he's here. I look in his teary eyes and tell him that I love him because......I can.

May we remember that all lives carry purpose and that each moment of life is precious. Thank God tonight for your blessing(s)....even if they wake you up 4 times.

And Happy Birthday, Kenny. May you inspire us that all things are possible.......

The saga continues......

Well, it has taken me a few days to blog because a fussy baby who seems to be in "remission" can regress at anytime. I don't know if it was the new food(chicken/rice, veg beef) or what, but the fuss was ON for 2 days. Jude would not be put down and even when he was held he was squirming like a worm in hot ashes and crying. When hubby walked in the door, I handed him the baby and told him I was escaping for some baby free time.

After a few months of great days and minimal crying, it was amazing how quickly I became discouraged and fretful again. I guess I was afraid the colic was going to come back and that he would begin crying all hours of the day and night again.

BTW, fussy babies sometimes sleep well, but in talking to other people with fussy babies, it seems that they all have sleep issues. So moms of fussy babies are already walking around in a sleep deprived fog. This is why it is so important to find/provide support.

Things are back to normal now. Jude is happy during the day again. No more chicken/rice or vegetable beef until he is 20.