I can't tell you how many times I have looked at my beautiful babe and wonder how such a nerve crushing sound can come from such a sweet, tiny body. Colic is no joke. Mom's who have never experienced colic have no concept of it. I remember talking to a friend who told me that her baby also had a "fussy time" in the late afternoon. Colic is not a fussy time. It's not about your baby's 1 hour expression of confusion and discomfort. It's so much more.
I kept wondering what in the world I was doing to make my baby so mad. His cry was just piercing. His little body would stiffen and arch and his face would scrunch up and he would just wail. Mom's can usually differentiate their baby's cries after a while....hungry, sleepy, overtired, etc. This type of cry is one that indicates the baby is either in intense pain or really, really pissed off. What kind of mom was I that I couldn't nuzzle my infant to my breast and comfort him? Though he was my third, I felt like I had just had my first baby and was completely clueless.
The facts:
1. Colic is not your fault. No matter what your doctor, friend, mother or anyone else tells you, you aren't spoiling him and making him cry all the time. If it was about wanting you and manipulating you to get what he wanted, then he would STOP CRYING WHEN YOU HELD HIM!!!
2. It is normal to feel inadequate, but you aren't. You have to keep reminding yourself of this and also have someone you trust remind you. This isn't the "normal" situation so the fact that all the "normal" things aren't working to make your baby stop crying is not a reflection on your competence as a mother/parent.
3. It's normal to wish this phase in your baby's life would pass quickly and then feel guilty that you are rushing your baby's growth. I kept going back a forth. I wanted to enjoy this stage in his little life that passes in the blink of an eye, but I desperately wanted the colic days to be over. At 8 months now, I honestly remember every single one of those special moments that happened outside of the colic. You won't look back without any good memories. Cut yourself some slack. No normal person wants a crying jag to last as long as possible.
Allow yourself to feel whatever. If you feel you are on the edge, tell someone. Get some help. I think that one of the greatest places for help of all sorts when it comes to babies is the Le Leche League. http://www.llli.org/ One of the leaders from the local group actually came to my home to show me how to wear Jude in the sling that I had bought. This brought some welcome relief to my weary back. Many of these women have experienced it ALL and can help you feel like you are not alone.
My newest venture is to become a doula. http://www.dona.org/ I want to be able to check on a mom at that 3 week mark and offer some support and relief to that weary woman who walks the floor.
No one should be alone in the world of colic.
I kept wondering what in the world I was doing to make my baby so mad. His cry was just piercing. His little body would stiffen and arch and his face would scrunch up and he would just wail. Mom's can usually differentiate their baby's cries after a while....hungry, sleepy, overtired, etc. This type of cry is one that indicates the baby is either in intense pain or really, really pissed off. What kind of mom was I that I couldn't nuzzle my infant to my breast and comfort him? Though he was my third, I felt like I had just had my first baby and was completely clueless.
The facts:
1. Colic is not your fault. No matter what your doctor, friend, mother or anyone else tells you, you aren't spoiling him and making him cry all the time. If it was about wanting you and manipulating you to get what he wanted, then he would STOP CRYING WHEN YOU HELD HIM!!!
2. It is normal to feel inadequate, but you aren't. You have to keep reminding yourself of this and also have someone you trust remind you. This isn't the "normal" situation so the fact that all the "normal" things aren't working to make your baby stop crying is not a reflection on your competence as a mother/parent.
3. It's normal to wish this phase in your baby's life would pass quickly and then feel guilty that you are rushing your baby's growth. I kept going back a forth. I wanted to enjoy this stage in his little life that passes in the blink of an eye, but I desperately wanted the colic days to be over. At 8 months now, I honestly remember every single one of those special moments that happened outside of the colic. You won't look back without any good memories. Cut yourself some slack. No normal person wants a crying jag to last as long as possible.
Allow yourself to feel whatever. If you feel you are on the edge, tell someone. Get some help. I think that one of the greatest places for help of all sorts when it comes to babies is the Le Leche League. http://www.llli.org/ One of the leaders from the local group actually came to my home to show me how to wear Jude in the sling that I had bought. This brought some welcome relief to my weary back. Many of these women have experienced it ALL and can help you feel like you are not alone.
My newest venture is to become a doula. http://www.dona.org/ I want to be able to check on a mom at that 3 week mark and offer some support and relief to that weary woman who walks the floor.
No one should be alone in the world of colic.
1 comment:
Wow! You brought back a lot of painful memories when Ryan was a baby. He never slept and had colic....so he would cat-nap in the car as long as it was running...but even then...sometimes he would scream at the top of his lungs to the point that I prayed for him to loose his voice! I know how you feel. Now he is 17yrs old and I am still going to string him up by his toes really really soon..even though I love him with all my heart with that motherly love...it is that tough love, ya know! I am so glad that you have a blog now. We can keep up with the things in our lives. I often think about you and wonder how you are and I know I can just call you but you and I both know as well how busy things can be in our blended family life...whew! It makes me tired just typing about it. There is never a dull moment...at least my husband is a comedian...ha ha ha!! He keeps me laughing especially now! In case you don't have my blog address, it is:
www.marionstwo.blogspot.com
I post on it just about daily and sometimes more than one time a day. Jennifer has a blog of her own as well...really cute:
www.jennifercollins10.blogspot.com
I love you and miss you terribly! I feel like we are sisters or something...we have been through so much together and so much of the same stuff....until now (baby stuff). It is just the 6 of us and that is it. Love ya, Sharan
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