Why??????

So why do some babies wail into the wee hours of the night and others just lie peacefully only wimpering when they are hungry or need a diaper change. I have honestly read so many books with so many theories, but none of them seem to really resonate with me. I read a book by a doctor whose name I don't remember who seemed to think that every baby with colic had reflux. So of course, looking for any relief I could get, I cart my baby to the doctor and come away with an RX for Zantac. Did it work? Not really. He still cried all the time.....maybe one hour less or so.

Some think it is a temperament, which I tend to believe also. There are those who would even say that these children are so bright that in essence, it is frustrating for them to be a helpless, immobile baby therefore they wail about it. Mmmm....not real sure about that. But I do believe that it is a part of their personality that makes them very verbal about any and every little thing. I fully expect Jude to be highly expressive and maybe even a little dramatic. We shall see.

It isn't a popular belief, but some feel like colic is a product of stress hormones secreted by the mom during pregnancy and labor. This would surely fit my situation. Being pregnant at 35 with a teenage girl in the house AND a 10yo boy with Aspergers was certainly a challenge. Don't forget every other weekend with the 8yo stepson who after being married to his dad for a year still doesn't care to speak to me. Add to that moving into a new house at 5 months pg. My labor...hmmmm...there's a story. The labor lasted 24 hours, about 15 of those hours were filled with INTENSE back labor pain. I had planned a peaceful homebirth but after stalling at 8cm and feeling like I could not take one more contraction, off to the hospital we went. So if stress plays a factor, then the cards were stacked against Jude from day 1.

I would love for someone to find a hint as to the cause of colic. Perhaps it could be prevented or lessened a bit if we knew why. But for now, it's about coping measures.

It's also about perspective. It's about knowing that in the span of your life with this child, this is a very brief moment in time and if you can make a decision to survive, then you are halfway home. I wish I knew why Jude cried so much in the beginning. What I do know is that he has become a happy baby now. Oh, believe me, he is still very verbal and expressive and doesn't sleep worth a poot. But it gets a little easier every day. One day, I will look back on all of this and smile....maybe even laugh.